We all hate writing them, but mine are heartfelt. Here are mine for an Obama presidency.
First and foremost thank you George W. Bush. Without you things could not have gotten so horrible that a mixed race man with a dark-skinned wife could become President.
Thank you Hillary Clinton for beginning to run a racially tinged campaign that awakened the black vote to the fact that Bill Clinton was not really the first black President (or if he was he was a self-hating black President). Had you not done so you would have split the black vote with Obama, and might have been President now.
Thank you Bill Clinton for being crazy, and reminding us that despite your many talents, you have some serious ego issues that will affect you to the point that you attempt to play into black people’s doubts and fears. Also thank you for reminding us that you’re not really black, and that even if you were, you still need to earn our vote. Extra points for calling Obama’s campaign a fairy tale.
Thank you Jesse Jackson for making such an ass of yourself that you furthered the narrative of a new racial construct and helped make Obama’s campaign possible.
Thank you Jeremiah Wright for being so juvenile, petty, and pathetic, that you drove Obama so far as to completely cut-off ties with you. This complete break dulled attacks of association relying on your past relationship. Thanks my man. Oh yeah, and extra points for forcing my man Obama to give one amazing speech on race – which also helped him win the presidency.
Thank you to those who ran campaigns across the nation based on the politics of fear. Your error in believing that fear triumphs over hope allowed as to teach you otherwise, and in doing so win a major landslide victory that will help Obama’s future agenda.
And I almost forgot, thank you Sarah Palin, for tempting John McCain to pick you, and then sucking so abslutely totally and utterly.
And my biggest thank you to John McCain for 1) picking Sarah Palin and 2) discarding his beliefs and morals to run on an extreme right platform that was ten times less effective than his 2000 campaign approach would have been.
There are so many people to sarcastically thank. I’ll have a list of genuine thank yous later on.